reminiscing: advice from a professor

i recently came across these notes i took on the first day of one of the prerequisite classes for the film program in college. it still seems applicable in many ways, and i thought it would be fun to share it here.

1. be a part of your education. ask questions.

2. become known on campus (in the department)--my duty.

i am a professional student, teachers are my clients. always serve the client.

3. it may never be too late.

4. never accept a poor grade--ask for a chance to redo (one on one)

5. be professional in approach--be polite

6. if you're not prepared, don't show up--be responsible

7. pick 3 buddies

8. type everything--as perfectly as possible

9. keep a copy of everything you turn in (even if you have to photocopy). always have a backup.

10. assume everything can be rewritten or redone (2 weeks for this class)

11. be gracious

12. read your syllabus--assume it could slide--always come to class

13. contact professor before absence

14. be responsible for missed time--call a buddy

15. never miss a final

16. don't visit during lectures--we're paying for it!

17. stay until the end--participation

18. don't burn bridges

19. do assignments on the day assigned--always ahead--especially print papers--plan ahead

20. challenge: no homework on sundays--however, earn those 24 hours off

21. don't let problems slide--get counseling (it's free and confidential)

22. most four-year degrees take five years--do you want your degree or an education? (*leave a major class--a GE--to that last semester so you have to stay)

23. challenge the system--some rules don't apply to everyone--work with the teacher

24. back doors open--volunteer time--come in running

25. be malleable and able to negotiate

26. take notes as if you'll teach this class

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i especially like 11, 18, 20, & 26. what advice did you receive in school that you still remember today?

the new obsession.

pinterest. i didn't think i would jump on that wagon, but it turns out i'm really enjoying the ride. i love having a visual bookmark keeper. i love seeing what my friends are pinning so i can get to know them better. i love having the visual reminder of the things i want to do--the ideas aren't tucked away in my email or bookmark file somewhere--they are there! on my declarative board. or there! on eat well.

what are you obsessed with lately?

afterthoughts: jane eyre(s).

*watching movies in a theater really is an engrossing experience. i was entranced by this film and kind of sad when it was over because i wanted to see more. i don't go to theaters much anymore, so it was fun to feel the magic of the experience again.

*when i grow old i want to be judi dench. (or helen mirren, but for the sake of this writing i'll go with judi dench.)

*the film has many beautiful sequences that made me think of an anthropologie catalog. i kind of hate to use a commercial comparison like that, but i thought of anthropologie several times as i watched jane walk through gardens and forest in gorgeously corsetted plaid and plain dresses. it turns out the director is also a cinematographer. this is one of his first feature films and i'm excited to see more from him. i love how he brought the visual elements from his cinematographical background to directing this film.

*there are at least 22 film/television adaptations of jane eyre, including versions made in china, india, and mexico.

*the script for the 2011 film was adapted by a woman. this is only the second film version i could find that was adapted solely by a woman. a 1997 version included one woman on the three-writer team. the 2006 bbc mini-series was also adapted solely by a woman.

*i loved the styles within the film. mia wasikowska's hairstyles were amazing, and for some reason i was struck by the look of the women's bare eyelashes. and mia wasikowska is simply striking.

*i like the name jane even more now. my previous experiences with jane eyre left me wanting. i saw the 1996 version with william hurt as an introduction to the story. when i finally tried to read the book years later, those were the actors my mind's eye conjured. gothic lit is hard for me to get into and i actually gave up on the book halfway through because i wasn't enjoying it.

*i think seeing the posters from some of the film adaptations was very interesting, especially after finding out which versions were adapted by women and which ones by men. it's also funny to think that these films all tell the same basic story--would you ever guess that from their posters?

i would choose the 2011 version (7) purely on poster aesthetics: the simple, elegant font; jane as the main image; rochester as a part of her dress, as an element she chooses to make a part of herself. i am a bit curious to see orson welles (2) as mr. rochester, and that poster is the most intense. i'm not keen on the male dominance in posters 3 & 5. i suppose the male stars (george c. scott & timothy dalton) were the main draw for those versions, but it still seems wrong to have the namesake of the film in miniature compared to her male counterpart. plus what's with the ugly font on poster 3? that said, it's interesting that the 1934 version (1) has the stars in equal places, as does the 1996 (4) version.

based on the posters, which version would you choose to see? do you have a favorite film/tv version of jane eyre?

my grown-up self.

growing up i collected ideas and images in my mind of the kind of things i would do and the kind of person i would be as a grownup. i thought about it again recently when i came across a blog with a sign on the sidebar that says: "i'm an adult and i can do whatever i want."
for some reason, reading it stated so boldly reminded me of all the choices i really do have. it's funny that i still have a "someday" mentality about so many things, and how i do still think "someday when i'm a grownup." i've always heard people say you don't feel too different as you grow older, but now i think i'm starting to get it. i mean, i thought i understood, but now i can see i have been a grownup for quite some time and there are many things i envisioned myself doing which i never do. and now i'm thinking it would be fun to try to do some of them. so i give you:

1. wear lipstick
2. throw dinner parties. fancy ones, with three courses and cloth napkins.
3. have garden parties
4. go to art galleries & foreign film screenings
5. wear a dress/skirt on a weekday
6. have nicely manicured fingernails
7. wear jewelry
8. have a clean, well-designed house

well, you get the idea. the fun part of my vision, obviously, is the more artificial stuff. i liked to think i would shop at j. crew and drive a land rover and be part of the scene in some urban setting. i also dreamed about the more important stuff:

1. marry the man i love in the temple
2. be a mother and stay home with my children, if possible
3. find ways to develop my own talents and nurture my family's talents and interests
4. maintain close friendships with my loved ones--family and friends
5. be a proactive person who makes connections and works hard

both lists are still important to me, and i'm happy to say that i feel i'm doing the things i value most from this second list. it's a helpful thought because lately i've been thinking so hard about this dream:

1. be a published writer

i envision it. i envision it real good, but i feel like i'm stuck on the other side of it, trying to figure out how to get close enough to touch it. how can i break through the wall? that is my question. for 59 chocolateless days that has been the question. it seems like spending any amount of time with words is a push in the right direction. so here i am.

back to the fun stuff. i'm looking at that list that little me dreamed about and thinking, i can do that. i am a grownup! i can do all of this if i want to! it's all about priorities, and planning. and finding the right shade of lipstick.

what's on your grownup list? are you living your grownup dream?

it's astonishing.

i'm amazed. astonished. flabbergasted. blown away. overwhelmed. astounded. stupefied. by what? the internet.

there is just. so. much.

so many great things. so many good things. so many things i wish i had thought of. honestly, i'm having a hard time not being a bit cynical these days, because i'm so inspired but simultaneously baffled by my own lack of creativity these days.

oh, i know what this kind of admission arouses in the poor people who have to read it. i'm not feeling sorry for myself (that was yesterday), and i'm moving past obsessively reading blogs to find some clue for where these people come up with stuff. i know it's all a matter of perspective--and documentation. but i also know i'm not the only one who feels like i don't do "anything" (besides keep three kids alive and happy and try to make dinner and sometimes clean my house and make myself presentable and NOT eat chocolate, among other things).

so i need to do something already.

now.

okay, i will, but first i want to do a bit of a brain scrub, to slough off all these dead thoughts i have swirling around in my head. because nothing cures dead brain cells like a list! (and you know you really need to do this if you type out brain cells as one word.)

*my recipe collection is now online here. the idea is to use the site as a place for my sisters-in-law and me to share recipes. everything is gluten-free. it still needs some editing, and more pictures, but mostly i'm really excited about it.

*speaking of food, i think about food all the time. it doesn't help that i currently have six jamie oliver cookbooks checked out from the library.

*i've been mildly obsessed with clothes lately. it wouldn't be too big a deal if i just had a small fortune to spend on clothes, but my clothes budget is only one of those things--small. much of my free time lately has gone to window-shopping, online window-shopping, slight coveting, actual shopping, and returning items i think i could find for cheaper or make in the hypothetical world where i sew. i'm ready for this rollicking process to be over already.

*wool felt. i just want to make stuff with it and maybe drape myself. just kidding, it wouldn't really drape well.

*coconut. and oats. and triple layer cakes i really want to make 37 days from now.

*stripes. i love them. i want to make my kids clothes from them. and wear them almost all the time.

*all things tiny. i will have to explain this more later.

*eating muesli for breakfast. or having a fruit smoothie. i looove strawberry yogurt honey smoothies. i will have them in my heaven.

and now, in picture form, thought not complete:

that may not be a complete list, but i feel better. now to see how my freshly-scrubbed brain works. i hope my will now glow.

style: yes, please.

image from j crew.

i daydream of being effortlessly stylish, loving everything in my closet, and never again dreading that i have nothing to wear.

one can always dream, right?

in my dreams, i roll out of bed to a beautiful closet where all my clothes are hung on wooden hangers and my shoes are lined up neatly and i can put on anything and feel lovely.

there seem to be two ways i can work toward my dream. one: worry less about what i wear (that's fodder for another post). two: focus more on the basics. three: think more carefully about color.

i went through my clothes and did an inventory--i wrote down everything i have. then i made list of the things i feel i'm lacking. i tend to bargain, buying bits and pieces, sometimes missing the essentials to really put a look together. after seeing how much stuff i do have, it was refreshing to see how small my missing item list was. included on that list:

jeans or dark pants, preferably with a slimmer leg

a new summer skirt

some kind of blouse

a light gray cardigan

a couple more everyday shirts

something striped

this spring i'm excited to try something new, something feminine and daring--like berry lip stain or orange lipstick or a skirt--on a weekday. who knows, maybe doing something adventurous superficially will somehow transcend to the rest of my actions.

what's in the wardrobe of your daydreams? do you see yourself trying something bolder this year?

the end of things: toy story 3 and knuffle bunny free.

this is my somewhat wordy review of the endings to two great trilogies: the knuffle bunny series by mo willems and the toy story series by pixar*. there are spoilers ahead.

is it the colors? the clearly written stories and relatable characters? i would like mo willems fine, but i like his work so much more than fine because my kids, especially g, adore his books. we had fun reading some elephant and piggy books from the library this year. g constantly wants to read knuffle bunny, the only book by willems that we own. after reading an interview with willems, i was especially interested to see how the series would come to an end. i read it in the bookstore, trying not to cry in public. it was so sweet and beautiful, and it reminded me of the end of another beloved series that drew to a close this year. apparently i wasn't the only one to see the comparison. more on that in a moment.

toy story 3 was a funny one for us because we saw it on dvd, not in the theater, after hearing it lauded by everyone we knew. the first time was a bit disappointing, though i did tear up a bit. then i rented it again this week, about two months after the first viewing, and have seen it more clearly in subsequent (read: three more) screenings.

toy story 3 had many challenges. first, it had to draw us in with a fresh approach. as a sequel it had the opportunity to build on characters we have come to love over the years, but had to resist overplaying certain quirks so that those characters don't feel overplayed or tired. and finally, because it's the last in the series, it had to give the audience some type of closure without negating the meaning from the previous two films. initially i was skeptical--it felt like a prison break movie, not wholly unlike chicken run. i also couldn't decide how i felt at the end. i cried, inevitably, but wondered at andy's ability to let everyone--including woody--go.
am i so materialistic?

this is what i thought was so interesting about both knuffle bunny free and toy story 3. in the end, both trixie and andy examine their attachment to their cherished toys, then let them go. both stories have other themes too, but the theme to hold dear to memories then pass on objects is very strong. i know i'm sentimental, perhaps overly so, but i was interested that both tales end with such unselfish gestures. these actions probably stood out to me more because at the moment i'm struggling with letting go of my children's baby clothes--and my oldest is just over five years old! what kind of mess will i be in thirteen years? the more i think about it, though, the more i see that this is a wonderful message to teach our kids--to hold onto memories, then pass on beloved things. i have always believed in donating rather than trashing, but i still hold on to my fair share of material possessions. i hope to teach my kids to let material things go easier than i do.

i could go on about the materialism themes in toy story 3--how lotso is a perfect foil for woody ("we're made to be thrown away!" lotso yells at the heirloom 1950s toy woody). and how horrific the scenes at the dump are. how could we not think twice about throwing things away after that? the film shows on many levels the ways that we should--and shouldn't do things. We see the toys--their themes of sticking together no matter what, never leaving each other behind, risking yourself to help a friend, sacrificing your own needs for the happiness of others--are among the good examples we see. on the flip-side, we see how a lack of respect (lotso's perspective that toys are disposible) and what following a selfish leader can lead to. in the people, we see that giving is good, even when it's hard, and that caring for things--showing respect--is a form of love. i'm definitely thinking about the latter as i look at the toys strewn about my house and think, are we taking care enough? it's an important value i want to teach my kids.

i also love how toy story 3 (along with the first two films) shows a special respect for childhood, especially the magic of play. i remember holding my toys and feeling that they could come to life. that's something i want my children to have, too. sometimes it's hard to give kids quiet space and free time to play, especially as the world grows more competitive and electronic. it was gratifying to see the way Bonnie took care of her toys, and how she played--all out, full on imagining, no television or video games played. it was also gratifying to see that the kind, imaginative andy grew up to be kind and imaginative. being in the phase i am now, it's always encouraging to see other kids go through the growing up process and remain relatively their same sweet selves.

both willems and pixar do a fine job of addressing children and adults. i cried at both because i'm understanding more and more what other parents say about how fast childhood goes, and i think pixar and willems illustrate this all too well. willems writes the loveliest message to his real-life trixie at the end of knuffle bunny free--more than her unselfish action at the end, it's these pages that made me cry. in toy story 3 i cried during the home-movie montage that shows andy growing up, and the scene near the end when andy's mom sees andy's room packed up and is suddenly struck that her son is grown up. parenthood is crazy that way--one moment you're humming along, lost in the daily routine of things, and the next moment you notice something that triggers the realization that your children are growing up.

as a writer and a parent i love seeing how closely these works parallel the lives of the creators. these stories are based in truth, and sincerely reflect their true emotional experiences with great characters and quality production. in the fifteen years since the original toy story came out, i'm sure pixar has seen its fair share of high school graduations.

finally, i wonder what it's like for younger adults/teens to watch toy story 3. i keep thinking of my cousins, for instance. when toy story first came out, they were three years old. six months ago they were the ones graduating high school, then preparing for college and post-high school life in the summer. i think about my aunts, and wonder how it felt to watch this film through their eyes--these kids grew up playing with toy story toys and games and watching the films excitedly in the theaters. now, the series winds up just as childhood does for their kids. it's quite poetic, really. knuffle bunny free and toy story 3 offer riveting stories for children along with entertainment and guidance for us grownups who are on the other side of the process. they are both poignant tales with themes of unselfishness and caring for others. i'm inspired as a parent and a writer.

*i'm using pixar as a collective for simplicity's sake since the film was a collaborative piece--including more than one writer.